The Lifesavers

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You could join Chris Darwin riding on the triplet bicycle across the USA (called the Beagle Pup). The two other seats will be sponsored. To become a sponsored Lifesaver — helping to avert mass extinction — there are some things you’ll need to know. Read on to find out more…

A sense of humour is the most important characteristic. (The first thing you will be asked to do is tell us a joke.)

Secondly, you must be a team player.

Thirdly, don’t panic. You need to be able to stay calm in adversity.

‘If you have those three characteristics, the rest is a breeze.

You need to do some unsupported bicycle touring before joining us. Don’t think you can learn on the job.

Go for a couple of three- or four-day rides covering 200 miles or so. Try to average 60 miles per day. Don’t be supported by a car, have all your stuff with you in panniers. Take a tent, sleep in a beautiful place, cook your own food, enjoy the freedom and peace.

Once you have done that, we would love you to join us. You will probably teach us a trick or two.

Because we are trying to prevent a mass extinction of American species we are particularly keen to have members from these three choirs who have the greatest reason to prevent the mass extinction of American species.

  • Those with a strong religious faith: those who believe that we should halt the mass extinction of American species because God created America’s wonderful creatures. The Lifesavers are protecting God’s creation.
  • The Pragmatist: someone who believes we should halt the mass extinction of species because of the all the benefits the natural world gives us: oxygen to breath, clean water, the ozone layer, soil to grow crops, pollinators etc.
  • The Nature Lover: someone who is potty about animals and plants.

Frequently Asked Questions

Where will the team be?
To get a rough idea of where we will be, go to the map and click to see when we will be where. We will be updating this map as much as possible.

What address should I go to?
Everyday on our facebook page we will post where you can meet us. Sign up to get the newsletter for more info.

Do you need to book to join us?
No, just turn up.

Can we call you?
Sure, it would be nice to hear from you. Having said that, we are flat out getting everything ready so please try and be as independent as possible. Almost all of your questions can be answered on this website. To ask us a question go to the contact page.

How far do we ride each day?
About 60 miles.

Where do we sleep?
You can stay in the Sheraton if you like. If you don’t ask us to sleep on your Penthouse floor, we will camp in some beautiful wilderness area or stay in a backpackers’.

What do we eat?
Because most of us are on a tight budget we will be mostly be cooking our own food.

Waiver Forms
Before you can join the Lifesavers you need to sign a waiver form so we don’t sue each other.

Groups
Each Lifesaver will ride with a small group. The idea being is that if something goes wrong you have someone to look after you but the whole group do not need to stop.

Helping out
Because this expedition has a purpose (halt the mass extinction of US species), everyone will be expected to help out. Maybe doing social media, repairing bikes, organising talks or helping save species.

Meatless Monday
We don’t eat meat on Monday. To understand why, see the ‘What are we trying to achieve’ tab.

The App
We encourage everyone to participate with the Meatless App every day. What is that? Don’t worry we have not built the app yet.

Injuries and Deaths
We hope that neither will happen but there is always a chance. In the event that someone gets injured, their small group will help them, but the main group will ride on. In the event that there is a serious accident causing someone to die, the expedition will continue. This is an expedition about a mass die off on planet Earth. We have to succeed.

What happens if you don’t like us or we don’t like you.
Always difficult and these are public roads, so you can go where you like. Having said that, we are a team and if you don’t fit in then it will be best for everyone if you find a team who you like and likes you.

We are attempting to halt the mass extinction of American species.

No country has had more known extinctions than the USA.

Habitat destruction is the great threat to US species. Since the meat industry is responsible for most of the habitat destruction, we are going to halt this mass extinction event by inspiring the greatest meat-loving nation in the world to eat less meat.

Chris Darwin is one of the sponsored lifesavers because he was the half-wit who spent the last 4 years chained to a computer organising this travelling carnival. Chris will be riding on the triplet bicycle (Beagle Pup) most of the time. The two other seats will be sponsored. To become a sponsored Lifesaver you must first bicycle on the expedition for two weeks.

Once you have done that — assuming there is a sponsored seat available on Beagle Pup — you can ask Chris if that is OK. He will say ‘yes’ because he will be too exhausted to do otherwise. The sponsorship will provide you $70 per day towards communal food and accommodation.

If you become a sponsored rider you will be expected to help out with the expedition in some way.

We are looking for riders for each of the below categories:

Those with a strong religious faith

Someone who believes we should halt the mass extinction of American species because God created America’s wonderful creatures. Consequently by preventing this train wreck, God will be very impressed.

The Pragmatist

Someone who believes we should halt the mass extinction of American species because of the all the benefits the natural world gives us: oxygen to breath, clean water, the ozone layer, soil to grow crops, pollinators etc.

The Nature Lover

Someone who is potty about animals and plants.



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